Thursday, August 25, 2011

Hilarious Stuff My Kids Said Recently

In light of recent meteorological events beyond even my control, I'm posting another entry just in case the hysterical media is right about Irene and we lose power for the rest of our lives and this is the beginning of the much anticipated Zombie Apocalypse and I don't get to blog again until the last half dozen surviving humans repopulate the Earth and reinvent the Internet.  See, I figure you can print this out ahead of time and read it by candlelight as your roof is torn violently from your home.  Be sure to read quickly though since your roofless house probably won't do much to shelter you from the torrential rain which will surely make your printout of this blog a bit smudgy.  Also don't hold your candle too close to the paper just in case it catches fire thus igniting your structurally damaged house...I would hate for this blog to be responsible for such a catastrophe! 

And now we return to our regularly scheduled blog already in progress:  Well, we've established that life immediately gets easier when you re-name your lists, so here's a case in point.  This list was originally called "Reasons We Should Seek Family Counseling Immediately", but the new title of this post is much less disturbing.  Oh yeah, Nobel Peace Prize, here I come baby!!!

1. "When I get old enough to drive, I'm getting a pick up truck because it's manly and I can put extra seats in the back with duct tape for all my friends."
- It should be noted that this is only funny if you're not me...or the parent of one of my son's friends.

2. "Sorry I peed in you bed Mommy".
- More on this later and obviously another "only funny if you don't have to wash my PJ's" quote.

3. "Daddy, why didn't Mommy have 18 kids?"
- I have no words for this one.

4."Mommy, why can't I drive home when we're done at the store?" (yes, I do believe he was serious)
-Umm, because you're 8 and I'm neither suffering from a head injury nor criminally insane...yet.

5."Mommy, I crapped for brother on the football field!"
- I suffered a tiny panic attack before realizing he was saying "clapped" and was just having trouble pronouncing his L's.

6."When I grow up I want to live in a trailer and work at Petco."
- makes you chuckle, makes me wonder where I failed as a parent.  On the up-side, he said I could visit and go in his hot tub and watch his LG big screen TV.

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